Monday, September 29, 2008

Famous People I Have Known

Everybody knows that it’s important to be famous. Because if you aren’t, then who, other than your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and the UPS guy knows you? If you don’t get your name into the history books or tabloids, then what is the point? But if you aren’t famous yourself, it is a good idea to know people who are. And if you don’t know people who are, it is a good idea to have at least seen famous people or to have known people who have seen famous people. That way, you’ll have something to add to conversations.

Here are my contributions:
•I saw Princess Di when she visited Canada back in the 80s. I was in a moving vehicle, she was behind an adoring throng, and all I could see was the back of her head. Or the back of someone’s head, who may/may not have been Princess Di.
•I saw Bruce Willis on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. He was walking.
•I saw Huey Lewis next door. He was stroking his chin.
•I think I saw Kate Winslet incognito in a little coffee shop on the Thames. She was wearing white Nikes and I thought to myself, “Would KW really wear white Nikes?” But then I thought, “That is EXACTLY what she wants me to think. I am falling for her disguise, which also includes a tacky ring. Or maybe the ring isn’t part of the disguise and is just something she likes.” I gave it some thought. Then I realized I was reading a Thomas Hardy novel and KW was IN a Thomas Hardy movie so it had to be a cosmic sign.
•My great uncle came up with the slogan “Let Your Fingers Do the Walking.” He also got to ride in a Pasadena Parade with Andy Devine, know for being Friar Tuck in the cartoon version of Robin Hood.
•Agnes Moorehead talked to my Mom. She was not really a witch.
•An ex-boyfriend’s best friend’s great-grandfather designed the Land O Lakes maiden. The one with the knees that—voila! fold up to be her breasts. (It really does work.)
•I have seen famous people who are in bands, actually playing with their bands. Sometimes, I have seen these people before other people who, when they find out about these famous people later, think that they are special.

And that’s only the beginning.

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